Paradox
by LunaRS
Summary: Donna doesn't remember a thing, Jack's alright, Martha found Mickey, and Rose...the Doctor wanted to say his last goodbyes but something happens that he doesn't count on. Will he have the strength to make the right choice? Especially when it involves travelling with his beloved Rose again? Please R&R. The first chapter is based on the end of "The End of Time pt.2".
1. Don't Touch Me!

One more person to see; he'd saved the best for last. He stood, shivering in the snow in a shadowy corner, waiting to see her. Rose. _His _Rose. A Rose that hadn't met him yet; why do you suppose he'd want to see her like that? It wasn't because he couldn't visit her in the parallel world—no, she already had the copy to keep her company—and he could have easily picked a time that she and nine were running about. But no, he picked a time before she knew him, before she'd travelled with him, because he knew that when she saw him, she wouldn't look sad; there would be no pain in her beautiful brown eyes and she wouldn't look twice.

He leaned absently against the brick wall behind him, facing Rose's apartment. He was quiet and anxious; on the inside, a storm of pain, anger, and almost-apathy raged but with expert struggling and straining, he kept all traces of it off his face except in his eyes he couldn't hold in a look of exhaustion.

He then heard the crunch of snow underfoot of two people walking towards the apartments.

"It's late now, I've missed it," he heard a woman say; he identified it easily as Jackie Tyler.

"Midnight. Mickey's gonna be calling and everything; it's _your_ fault!" she accused the person she was talking to. He chuckled to himself; oh, Jackie Tyler.

"No it's not!" Rose's defensive reply came, her voice practically stabbing his hearts.

"It's Jim-bo! He said he was going to give us a lift and then he said his axel broke, I can't help it!" Jackie displaced the blame.

"Stop dating him, mum, he's useless!" Rose protested, hugging herself against the cold.

"Listen to _you_! With a mechanic!" Jackie argued.

'_A mechanic?' _He wondered for a moment.

'_Oh yes, Mickey.'_ He thought to himself with a hint of jealousy before grinning when he remembered how he'd soon be stealing her heart and giving her both his own…

"Be fair, though," Jackie started, quieter.

"In _my_ time of life I'm not going ta do much betta." She finished, looking at her daughter as they stopped walking.

He could see Rose now; not her face.

Rose put a hand on her mother's shoulder in a comforting way.

"Don't be like that," she began. Her voice drove him out of his mind yet he remained silent and in the shadows.

"You never know, there _could_ be someone out there." Rose continued.

"Maybe…" Jackie said, looking wistful.

"One day." She was feeling encouraged now.

"Happy New Year!" they congratulated each other, giving hugs and giggles.

"Don't stay out all night." Rose instructed her mum.

"Try and stop me." Jackie jeered as she walked off. Rose huddled off towards her apartment alone.

'_Now's my chance, I suppose.'_ He thought.

He stared at her pensively before a sudden flare of pain coursed through him, catching him off guard.

Rose turned quickly at the sound of his gasp.

"You alright, mate?" she asked. He looked up swiftly.

"Yeah." He answered without hesitation. When he saw her face, his hearts skipped a beat each in its turn; she was so beautiful.

"Too much to drink?" she guessed, shivering in the cold.

"Something like that." He replied.

"Maybe it's time you went home." Rose said.

He almost couldn't speak.

"Yeah…" he finally got out.

"Anyway, happy New Year!" she offered him congratulations with a wide grin.

"And you." He replied. She turned and began walking away. He wanted to speak with her longer; he thought that maybe if he spoke longer, if he could hear her voice one last time, that he could let go, again, but not now; not yet.

"What year is this?' he asked. She whipped around, looking confused.

"Blimey, how much have you had?" she giggled, amused.

"Well…" he mumbled, shifting his weight and shivering in his trench coat, jerking his head back a bit and grinning.

"Two thousand and five, January the first." She said, stressing the last three words.

"Two thousand and five…" he repeated. Rose nodded.

"Tell you wot…I bet you're going to have a _really _great year." He told her, his smile knowing. Rose looked a bit intrigued.

"Yeah?" she said. He only smiled and Rose turned away again before turning back to smile and say "see ya."

With that, she ran to her apartment and closed the door behind her, sneaking another glance in his direction before running up the stairs inside.

The pain now of two newly broken and dying hearts was almost too overwhelming for him to handle as he turned his back on Rose's flat and tried to walk away. He leaned against the brick wall for support, gasping in his agony.

He caught sight of the TARDIS and pushed himself off the wall, trying to walk to it with pain ridden steps. A few long and hard steps and his body faltered.

'_I'm going to die! I don't want to die!'_ he thought frantically.

He cried out and fell to his hands and knees. He whimpered against the pain and panted, looking up to see an Ood standing a couple paces away from him with communicator in hand.

"We will sing to you, Doctor," The Ood started.

"Universe will sing you to your sleep."

"Oh my gosh, sir are you alright?" a very alarmed voice called from behind. He strained to look and he saw Rose running to him.

'_If she touches me, there'll be a paradox!' _he panicked in his head.

"Don't touch me!" he hissed as she neared him.

Rose stopped beside him, ignoring what he'd just said. A few tears found their way down his cheeks as he began to panic, feeling weaker and weaker.

"Please…don't…" he choked, the radiation within him clutching at his very core. If he didn't regenerate now, he might never have the chance to.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, mate." She soothed, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"A paradox is upon us!" the Ood said before it disappeared.

'_Don't touch me!'_ he thought.

Rose's hand touched the fabric of his trench-coated shoulder and he felt energy surge through him. Images flew through his mind, images of Martha, Donna, Jack, and Rose quickly appearing and disappearing rapidly as well as every moment of every adventure that he had ever experience with them, his beloved companions, and then he was left with the feeling that something was very, very wrong.

Then black.

He shot up, looking around frantically to see he was in a bed in someone's flat.

It was Rose's flat.

"Wot you doin', bringin' a fellow like that into your flat?" a familiar voice asked in the other room.

"Wot was I supposed to do then? Leave 'im out there in the snow?" Rose's voice his his ears; he guessed she was arguing with Mickey in the next room.

"Wot…wot am I doing here?" he wondered to himself, swinging his legs off the bed and standing, making his way to a mirror on the wall by the door.

'_Well, let's see how I've changed…' _he thought absently.

Once he saw his reflection, his mouth gaped open.

He hadn't regenerated.

"Wot?!" he breathed in alarm and shock.

"Wot?!"


	2. New Beginning

"Oh, 'ello...you've woken up!" Rose opened the door, looking at bit huffy and surprised. A very unamused Mickey trailed in behind her and glared at the Timelord.

"Wot's you're name then?" Mickey asked, looking very intimidated.

"I'm The Doctor," The Doctor said with a kind grin, holding his hands behind his back. He tried his best not to let on that he knew all about the humans that stood before him. _'I need to get out of here and figure this out,' _he thought to himself.

"The Doctor? Doctor Who?" Mickey questioned.

"Just the D-Doctor…" The Doctor stuttered, feeling a wave of weakness come over him. He faltered and Rose lunged to his aid, instructing Mickey to do the same. The Doctor felt exhausted, and his hearts were beating slower than usual. Rose and Mickey carefully laid him back in bed before, once again, The Doctor's world went black.

_'Something's wrong. Something is very, very wrong. Wot's that? Wot _is_ that?!_

_Rose...Rose, no! Don't!'_

The Doctor shot open his eyes, panting. Images of Rose and the Bad Wolf all at once flooded then vanished within his mind; a remainder of his nightmare.

"It's okay, Doctor. I'm here," Rose's voice cooed in his ears. He looked around wildly at the room then at his hands; he traced his jaw and face with his fingers slowly, trying to calm himself and retain the tears that threatened to fall out of the vividness of the dream.

He _still _hadn't regenerated, but why?

The radiation seemed to be gone and he felt right as rain at the moment, besides being monstrously famished; he also had quite a throbbing headache.

"Oohf...My head…" The Doctor groaned, putting a hand to his forehead.

"Probably just a hangover," Rose said.

"Something like that…" The Doctor mumbled.

"Anyway, my name is Rose. That other bloke's name is Mickey." she explained, pointing her thumb towards the door, showing that Mickey was gone.

"Nice to meet you, Rose," The Doctor said and grinned; the sound of her name made his hearts thump harder as well as every time he saw her smile.

"So that Mickey fellow...he your...boyfriend?" he asked sitting himself up.

"Yeah. Two years now," Rose stated, shining a cute smile. "You have any family around here?" she asked.

"No...not really," he said.

"Oh yeah? Where're they at then?" she questioned curiously.

"Far...far away," he said, becoming a bit downhearted. _'Too far…' _he thought to himself. "Wot about you? You live here?" The Doctor changed the subject.

"Yeah, wif my mum," she said, almost rolling your eyes.

"Ahahah...she sounds difficult," he said with a slight giggle.

"Yeah, you've got no idea…" Rose trailed off.

The Doctor knew he needed to get to his TARDIS as soon as he possibly could; he still had no idea what was going on. But wait...what did the Ood say? "_A Paradox is upon us…_" he breathed absently.

"Excuse me?" Rose wondered, confused and curious.

"Nothing," The Doctor excused his comment before realizing what must have happened. He was about to regenerate then Rose had come after him and...touched him.

That's it!

By touching him, she had created a Paradox, therefore erasing all that had happened in his timeline pertaining and influenced by his interaction with Rose. Of course!

'_That's why I didn't regenerate!' _he thought.

The Doctor swung his legs over the side of the bed in excitement. "Oh! That's brilliant!" he said aloud.

"Wot?" Rose asked, looking a bit bewildered.

Then his excitement stopped abruptly and his face grew stern. _'No...this isn't right...I need to set this to the way it was before...' _

It was at the thought of losing Rose again, this time purposefully, that dimmed the light in his amber brown eyes. His face carried a quiet and complacent stare of the knowledge of what he knew he had to do, no matter how unwilling he was to do it; his hearts were heavy with apathy and it made his struggle all the more worse. His mind searched for everything, _anything_ that could alternatively be done instead but only the one thought was possible: _'I need to set this right...'_

His emotions waged war within him.

'_But why can't I live? Why can't I have Rose? I deserve this...' _he began to think, turmoil rising in his soul.

He looked at Rose.

'_I deserve her.'_

And so with a long hard battle in his hearts, soul, and mind, the Timelord Victorious reigned over all. A new light, one not of wonder, excitement, and rightly thought justice, but of selfish desires, sorrow, and apathy towards the right decision entered his amber eyes. His face held a grin but behind it hid a grimace at his own thoughts and actions and finally his mind refused to stop fighting with his hearts, for his mind was stronger and more seasoned in the ways of reason; his hearts were flimsy and tattered, barely held together at all and they jumped at any opportunity to _feel_ again, be it love or happiness, no matter how temporary.

But a small twinge of guilt embedded itself into the pit of his stomach.

"Oh...nothing," The Doctor said quietly. He then looked up and was surprised by what he saw. A tiny little crack with a bit of light bleeding through.

"Wot's that?" he wondered aloud, his brow furrowing. He quickly leapt off the bed and ran to where his coat was hanging on the door and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.

"Wot's wot?" Rose asked, a bit perplexed.

The Doctor jumped onto the bed and began to scan the crack with his sonic screwdriver.

"Wot's _that_?" she questioned.

"A sonic screwdriver," The Doctor explained absently. He touched the crack and whipped his finger back, surprised at the sudden pain.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed, leaping off the bed and grabbing his coat. Rose followed swiftly behind him, out of the apartment, down the stairs, and into the frigid air outside. The Doctor ran, very aware of Rose's presence, towards the TARDIS and ran inside of it. Rose did the same and stopped once inside, looking around in pure awe.

"It's bigger...on the inside…" she breathed. The Doctor grinned boyishly and ran to the controls, slinging his coat on the railing.

It was at this moment that The Doctor made a compromise with his hearts and his mind: _'Tell her what you are and if she wants to travel with you, go ahead,' _he thought to himself. His hearts and mind were now in agreement.

"Like it? It's my ship," The Doctor said, his grin widening.

"Are you...what are you?" she asked.

"I'm a Timelord," he explained.

"Not human?" she asked, confused and a bit disbelieving.

"No. Two hearts, genius...this ship?" He was running out of comparative things.

"You look human," she continued.

"No," he said, raising his eyebrows, "_you_ look Timelord. W-Would you like to travel with me?" he asked hesitantly after a moment of mutual silence.

"Where?" she asked.

"Anywhere you like. Oh, did I mention that it's a time machine too?" he added with a pleading look; was he sure he was really going to be able to reset his timeline if she said no? "You could be gone for days, months even, and still be home in time for tea," he continued.

Rose grinned excitedly.

"Why not."


	3. Timelord Victorious

They explored; for hours and hours, Rose and the Doctor walked through the halls, looking into room after room, in the TARDIS.

They talked and discussed time and history and space, creations, inventions, and secrets of the universe. As they talked, the Doctor found it harder and harder not to talk to her like he was familiar with her, as if he had feelings for her.

Finally, _finally_, they were travelling. The Doctor showed her new worlds and explored the past and future with her, careful only to show her places he'd never shown the old Rose, more to protect himself from his memories of her than to protect her from anything in particular.

"They really _do _have dog's heads!" Rose exclaimed as they ran into the TARDIS, giggling and frantically trying to get away from their recent pursuers from the planet Barcelona. The Doctor ran for the controls, flipped a few switches, and pulled a large lever and the TARDIS groaned, raspy, an like an old overused engine, before they were once again traveling. Somehow, the Doctor had managed to insult the Barcelonian Emperor, and they had this been run out of the palace by the dog-faced citizens.

"Yeah, apparently one should never refer to the King's reign as a _leash_," The Doctor giggled, giddy with the events that had just passed.

Rose and the Doctor leaned on the railing of the TARDIS, laughing together and grinning all around. They talked about the people of Barcelona, their customs, and all that. The Medusa Cascade, the lost Moon of Poosh-lost now to all but the Doctor-and the Belt of Morian; each held an adventure that he and this new Rose experienced. They were small adventures, little mysteries that were easily solved, but they still charmed Rose, enchanted her wonder and she was clever; oh, she was _clever_!

Everything was much more exciting when she was there; he hated travelling alone.

But then there were the nightmares. The Doctor, exhausted by the looming paradox, that he chose to ignore, had slept more than usual-he was capable of weeks without sleep-and the most prominent dreams he had were of Rose when he couldn't tell her he loved her, Rose when she fought Paradoxes and Time itself to save the world; Rose when she saved Time and Space, the whole universe even, when she became the Bad Wolf. Nothing like that could ever happen again, he knew; it was impossible.

There was nothing to worry about. He shouldn't be afraid of something so rare.

"Now," The Doctor started, leaping off the railing towards the controls.

"Where to next?" he asked readily, his hand resting, twitching with anticipation, on the dial of years, months, and days; his other hand hovered over the buttons of hours, minutes, and seconds.

Rose displayed a jaunty smile and replied "to bed" as she turned on her heels and walked out of the control room, not without smiling one last time over her shoulder.

"Wot?" the Doctor almost squeaked behind her, letting his arms fall to his sides. "How can you be so tired when there are so many exciting places we could go?" he mumbled to himself, half-heartedly smiling in return.

"Goodnight," he called after her before the door slid quickly shut.

"Don't get her lost this time," The Doctor said sternly, directly to the TARDIS.

The lights flickered in the living-machine's reply. An ethereal cooing and breath-like speech entered his ears, for he was the only one who could hear and understand it.

"I know, but she _is_ Rose. And…" the cooing interrupted him.

"Well, same with my duplicate, the one that..._Rose_ has…" he answered hesitantly. More breathy words.

"Well, it's sort of the same thing…" he said slowly, pouting that he was losing an argument with a spaceship. "But it doesn't matter. I'm the Timelord Victorious. I _can_ and _will _do with Time and Space what I please," he finished indignantly. He was not going to relent to the "old girl", no matter how much she argued.

The cooing grew more adamant and angry sounding.

"I'm finished talking about this," he warned. "She won't become the Bad Wolf again; there's not cause for her to," he added thoughtfully. One last breathy word.

"Oi, don't call me a Tyrant!" he said disdainfully, his ego a little deflated.

That was that. The TARDIS made no further attempt at argument with her Doctor.

Yet, she, a being who _is_ the vortex of Time and Space itself, who can see all that will, has, and can possibly happen, planned to direct him to a problem that was at hand; there was a mystery that, although she knew he would not solve now, he would have to be made to acknowledge soon, no matter how unwilling he was. She was aware that her Doctor's heart would break once more but she was confident that the pieces would hold, at least for long enough.

The Doctor paced a little, processing all of Time and Space that roamed through his mind; though his mind worked much like the TARDIS in which he could also see what was, has, and could possibly come about, but as powerful as his mind was, he could not process everything fast enough; he understood that he knew, but he did _not_ understand how much and what he knew, at least not at once.

He carefully, and wearily walked out of the control room, shutting off the lights behind him, and walked first towards his own room, or at least the one he had decided to sleep in today, before turning, on second thought, and walking towards Rose's room.

Stealthily, and quietly, the Doctor manually pulled out his sonic screwdriver and concentrated it on the door to make it open slowly, and once it was opened he tiptoed into the darkened room up to the bed where she lay, calm and peaceful.

The Doctor leaned forward to gingerly catch a glimpse of her face, for she was facing the wall away from him.

She was angelic, breathing slowly and steadily like that; such an exceptional human. His hearts thumped faster, almost skipping a few beats, and his cheeks flushed red; would he have the courage to tell her how he felt about her? Because _he _of all people knew that nothing lasts forever. He would have to tell her, _sooner_ rather than _later_.

The Doctor reached out, slowly and hesitantly to touch her golden locks until the improperness of the situation struck him and he stole his hand away, backing out of the room reluctantly. The door squeaked once as it closed, and the Doctor did not hear Rose's quiet words as he left, "goodnight, Doctor."

_'Timelord Victorious'_ rang hollowly through his mind. Did that really mean anything? Did he really have that right? To change Time and Space at his will? Then he remembered Captain Adelaide Brooke and the creatures of the waters of Mars; what good had the "Timelord Victorious" been then? He had gone too far and Adelaide had killed herself because of his mistake…But this was different; _Rose_ was different.

And so he pushed the matter from his weary mind; Captain Adelaide Brooke, though her life did in fact mean something to him, he chose to ignore her for the time being, and the example she had made of this "Timelord Victorious". He was exhausted.

And thus the Doctor laid down.

The Doctor yawned, his body shuddering as he stretched sleepy muscles. He leaned against the railing in the control room, drowsily waiting for Rose to wake up; he browsed travel magazines, from all across the galaxies, of course, for places he might want to take Rose on their next adventure. After an hour of browsing, pacing, and sitting patiently, he looked at the time and saw that, at least in the TARDIS, it was way past sleeping hours for humans.

He stood and walked determinedly through the halls to Rose's room where he gallantly stepped past the doorway and made his way to her bedside.

"Wakey, wakey!" he called, giggling a little when she started in her sleep with a bit of a snort. "It's time to have an adventure!" he enthusiastically continued, trying to conceal his laughter.

"Wot time is it?" Rose groaned, pulling her pillow over her head.

"Time to get up," the Doctor replied. "It gets boring, waiting for you humans to wake up," he added, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She mumbled something that he couldn't understand.

"Wot?" he questioned. He was answered by the pillow suddenly making contact with his face, causing him to fall off the bed in a suppressed "Aaaaah!"

Rose laughed and rolled over to the side of the bed to look down at him.

"Wot you gonna do now?" she asked with a smile.

The Doctor grinned back and lunged at her, tickling her fiercely and laughing with her as she flailed and kicked about.

Finally Rose was up and dressed, after their little tickle fight-Rose had managed to get a quite a few giggles out of the Doctor-and after they stopped in London for a breakfast of custard, which the Doctor discovered he was quite fond of, they were finally on their way to deciding where to go next.

"Past or future?" The Doctor asked, his hands at the ready on the controls.

"Future," Rose decided almost immediately. Where could he take her in the future? A few places grazed through his mind then it struck him. He could take her to see the end of the world again. Yes, that was a marvelous idea; he was glad he'd thought of that...but wait. He _hadn't_ thought of it…Who had…

He shook his head slightly. It didn't matter. The TARDIS was silently triumphant.

"To the future then!" he announced, throwing the switch. The TARDIS shuddered and the rusty engine noise was rough, old, and beautiful in both Rose's and the Doctor's ears. Everything shook and Rose held onto the railing to stabilize herself, smiling in perfect gayety, filled with the excited knowledge that very soon there would be something unknown and new waiting for her outside of those doors.

Everything stopped and the TARDIS made the unmistakable sound of its landing. The Doctor looked at Rose, and they ran out to see a room with large windows facing the earth itself.

"Oh my gosh, it's beautiful…" Rose breathed, walking slowly towards the windows. The Doctor watched her fondly from behind. She was so beautiful.

"What year is it?" Rose questioned, turning to look at the Doctor; the light from the expanding sun caught in her hair and made it look as if she were radiating, making her eyes glow with a tint of gold...he shivered slightly; it reminded him too much of the Bad Wolf.

He cleared his throat. "Year five billion!" he announced, gesturing towards the earth with his head, his hands in his pockets.

"Welcome to the end of the world." Rose's mouth gaped when he said that.

She looked out at the earth and set a hand slowly onto the window as if she were reaching for the world.

"Wot?" she breathed.

"Today's the day the sun expands and destroys the earth," The Doctor explained.

"...I could try and stop it?" The Doctor suddenly spoke, slowly; he was ready to see if he could, if the _Timelord Victorious_ was capable of such a thing.

Rose began to smile before it suddenly vanished off her face and she tilted her head, looking confused.

"But, didn't you say you couldn't change fixed points in Time?" she said. The Doctor was startled. _Had_ he told this Rose that?

"Did I? I don't think so," he persisted curiously. "Let's get into the TARDIS and save the earth," he suggested, turning away. He felt a hand on his shoulder stop him; his hearts thudded hard in his chest.

"No, don't. You can't do that," Rose said, worriedly.

"Why not?" he asked, struggling with what he wanted to do and the unutterable fact that she was right.

"I don't know, it just feels wrong. Like it's supposed to happen. Please don't stop it, Doctor," she pleaded. With a heavy sigh, and a feeling of panic rising within him, he nodded and said "okay."

Everything was quieter than he'd remembered. Where was the blue steward? The face of Bo?...Casandra even? That was when the Doctor looked up to see something that shouldn't have been there; no, something was definitely wrong.

On the ceiling, etching down into the west wall, was a glowing crack.

"Wot's that?" The Doctor mumbled to himself, pulling out his Sonic Screwdriver and scanning the crack. A flare of power and then nothing. Strange. Rose looked at it in awe.

"Wot is it, Doctor?" she asked, instinctively grabbing onto his arm.

"I don't know…" he said slowly. The longer he stared at it, though, the more he began to feel that something was very, _very_ wrong. It was almost as if the crack was leaking something; that something may have done something to the steward and all the guests…the crack moved, grew an inch, but only the Doctor had seen it; it made him feel sick with fear.

"Run!" he said, grasping Rose's hand and practically leaping into the TARDIS with her.

"Wot was that?!" Rose asked, very alarmed by now and panting. The Doctor remained silent as he frantically flipped switches here and there, just trying to run away from the crack. What was that crack? And why did it frighten him?

Another thought occurred to him. He was sure that he hadn't told Rose anything about fixed points in Time. So how did she know?

...Was she remembering? If so, how much did she remember.

The Doctor looked towards Rose.

'_Does that mean...Rose still exists in the Parallel universe?!' _


End file.
